My story ♥ http://massroyalties.origamiowl.com
This is to every young girl who has been hurt at some point in their life and left to feel like they have no purpose in life. I am writing this to let you know that you do have a purpose in life for God has created you with a purpose.
I once felt like my life had so purpose; and when you get that feeling you start to feel unworthy to be loved, you feel like a failure which lead to low/no self-esteem, no self confidence, no self love and all the other feeling that lead a person in to depression or thoughts of not living any more.
All those feeling I know a little too well I going to share with you part of my story which gives me the right to tell you that you do have a purpose in this life. At the age of 8 school had become unpleasant for me. I was picked on at school for 2 reason 1 because I was darker that than some of the kid in my class and 2 there was this girl who was suppose to be my half sister who was light skin with long pretty hair; so they said my mom don’t know who my father is it can’t be the man who she says it is cause we look nothing alike. That was where I started to lose my self-esteem. By age 10 I was raped and molested talk about self-esteem that when out the door. The only this I had left was my grades in school till one day I came home my aunt was there I had gotten 99.5 on a Spanish exam instead of saying congrats or something she said where is the .5 depression part 1 has just started.
I graduated primary and junior high school (middle and elementary school in one) top of my class in spited of everything because I had my Grandmother in my corner. Happy to start high school until I got there that was my hell on earth. During my high school years my mom move is the US so me and my sister lived with my grandfather it was understandable because we would join here soon enough but for me soon was not enough. I went to school everyday been bullied and picked on there go home in fear that some was there waiting to rape me. Living with my grandfather was not easy for me my sister could have careless about what he says he used to call us all kind a name that no parent or guardian should call a child so I used to go to my grandmother right after school so I did have to deal with him then she got sick and he curse when we came home late from school knowing we went to the hospital to see her he said we don’t need to go see her everyday then when she past he said ‘’why did one of us go with you to the doctor?”
OK back to my high school days I started my first relationship I thought it was perfect looking back that is not love. Because of me having low self-esteem and having your own family making you feel like you good was never good enough I settled. Not getting in to detail of that relationship let’s just the day I need the person who I thought loved me the most when my grandmother died he was with someone else but as the fool I was forgave and went back to that person. After that I started to slowly give on myself and hearing my grandfather saying me and my sister was the biggest mistake in my mother’s didn’t help at that point I just wanted to die that led to me wanting to take my life but God didn’t let me because when I was going to he sent someone cross my path who told me whatever that make you look that sad can’t be that bad. I dealt with that for 2yrs with no one to talk to about it because my family was a part of my problem.
Finally we got to go live with my mom I was happy until I felt I was throw in to a pack of wolves. Here I thought I could be all to heal from my past instead I had to start pretend to be someone I was not that my life was great and only talk about that good part of my childhood. Until this day no one know about my childhood because my mom has forgotten about it and so has my sister my brother wasn’t there to witness it. For me it was always in the back of my head I would see my brother give is daughter a bathe and I think the worst.
By the time I hit 20 I was a mess on the inside trust no one still had self-esteem problem and the people I was around now was so judgmental so I pretend. The first part of my life controlled me this would be fine till someone would do or say something jokingly or not and everything comes rushing back. I gave up on school cause of my past and I feel like that people around me was just like those all they want me to do is fail so now I feel like a big failure.
My cousin helped me start the healing process without knowing. He was the first person in my life to say “I love you” to me and I never had to question it because up to this they he is always there for me when I need him. Now at the age of 24 I can let go of my past thank to God and the my cousin for they have been the only this constant in my life and I am determined to make something of myself so I can repay him for always been there for me. One day I post something on my msn and he call me to talk to me to find out what was going on with me I will never forget that day he cared enough to check on me for his busy like that when I start loving myself and thanks to God him and some amazing once in a lifetime friends am here today as an independent designer for origami owl.. they loved and believe in me when I didn’t …I love them all with everything in me